Boys at Christmas

Christmas again and again and again

We've been 'doing' Christmas for ages now it seems.

The kids have been on holiday since last Wednesday, the teachers having two extra pupil free days at the end of the year - that took me by surprise. Ishbel had to spend a couple of days at Tanderra while Ian and I finished off the working year. Ian is now on holiday until 11th Jan while I will be back at work between Christmas and the New Year and in January until 11th Jan when I'll have a couple of weeks to get the kids through the long holidays - they go back to school at the end of Jan.

Our round of Christmas parties started with a BBQ at Bec and Steve's last Saturday before they piled kids and new pup into the car for Christmas on the north coast. Ishbel also had a party on Sunday at the pool but the rest of us had some respite until Wednesday (23rd) when we went to Janet and Steven's for a BBQ. Steven has been building new decking out the back so we went to admire it. And eat ourselves to a standstill! The next evening we were at Sharon's for dinner. And ate ourselves to a standstill!

It was a relaxed start to Christmas Day with the kids having quite long sleeps until the last one, Rob, got up about 9:30am. Karen, Dan and Xavier came over for lunch and stayed until about 6:30pm. We then had a quiet hour or so before Janet, Steven and their girls came over. That got rid of the Crhistmas pudding and Christmas cake (like we needed to eat anything else) which we worked off with a loud, tuneless, SingStar competition. The Colquhouns did not win!

Yesterday we headed down to Roey and Pete's for lunch with them and Pete's Mum, Pat. Roey and Pete have had renovations done and have opened up the back of the house with a new kitchen/family room with large french doors onto the garden. Looks good.

Tonight we are going out to a local Thai restaurant with Janet, Steven, Sharon and the girls. We started last year going out together on Christmas Eve rather than buy presents for the other families but coudn't arrange a night altogether before Christmas - on the night we were at Janet and Steven's Sharon couldn't come and on Christmas Eve when we went to Sharon's Janet was working so tonight is our Christmas dinner out - a bit of overkill at this stage but we're going through with it anyway.

Can't wait for a night in.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

And here's some Christmas 'singing' for you - the type us Colquhouns should undertake :

A reflection on Christmas and cuisine

Early Christmases in Sydney were a melancholy time for the first few years. The early rulers were Protestants, who encouraged sobriety and believed that too much celebration was a popish thing. Some of the most puritan did not even mark it as a day for attending church, as this was regarded as a practice that belonged exclusively to Sundays. This Puritan legacy helped to keep Christmas a family day - again a cause of sorrow for those who were separated from family.

One element of the traditional Christmas and its pagan antecedents was a focus on food. The scarcity of food supplies in the early years of Sydney's settlement mirrored the general scarcity in the 'old country' winter, but while the northern household might store up preserved fruits and fatten up precious poultry for the special event, there was little opportunity to plan ahead in Sydney.

In 1788, the record tells us that the governor and the officers dined heartily. The following year, with colonial stocks very low, the governor ate turtle, especially bought in for him from Lord Howe Island. As to the rest of the settlement, little is known, though there are rumours of precious flour rations being deflected from use in making common damper to innovative creations such as parrot pie.

1803 is the first year that the public record specified how the whole establishment ate. The Sydney Gazette records that extra rations of fresh beef, suet and raisins were provided for the military and civil establishment while the convicts were given extra rations of salt pork and flour.

This apparently was not considered good enough; the Gazette also recorded that some pigs went missing, and one convict who stole a pound of flour from a private house got 200 lashes on Boxing Day.

From those early days of salt pork and scarcity, by the mid century the food situation had certainly improved. Richard Peck, importer of 452 George Street advertised in 1848 that he could sell you a range of teas - black, flowery Peko, Souchong, green, gunpowder, or Hyson etc. His coffees were roasted daily - java, manila, mocha etc. He stocked muscatels, prunes, candied orange peel, a variety of almonds, brandied fruits, pickles and chutneys, including mango. He had walnuts, pickled onions, French capers, sauces, oils and eight kinds of vinegar - Richard Peck, the Simon Johnson of his day. All this might be washed down with some of his range of wines - champagne, hock, claret, Madeira, port and sherry.

In contrast, the Colonial Wine Depot at the Bulls Head further along George Street had in for the Christmas rush many varieties of spirits, as well as Guinness stout, Barcley's stout and 'every article in the trade at low prices', while 'for the working classes' he had ordered in 500 cases of Byass's Ale at 6d a bottle or 4 dozen for 20/-.

From Shirley Fitzgerald at The Dictionary of Sydney

TGIF - The Broken Mower

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf - always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Moral to this story : Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.

For the kids

We have been using the NORAD Santa Tracker for a few years now.

NORAD is the bi-national U.S.-Canadian military organization responsible for the aerospace and maritime defense of the United States and Canada. NORAD, created by a 1958 agreement between Canada and the United States, provides advanced warning of impending missile and air attacks against its member nations, safeguards the air sovereignty of North America, and maintains airborne forces for defense against attack.

NORAD began tracking Santa in 1955 after a Colorado Springs-based Sears Roebuck & Co. advertisement for children to call Santa misprinted the telephone number. Instead of reaching Santa, the phone number put kids through to the CONAD Commander-in-Chief's operations hotline. The Director of Operations at the time, Colonel Harry Shoup, had his staff check the radar for indications of Santa making his way south from the North Pole. Children who called were given updates on his location, and a tradition was born.

Since that time, NORAD men, women, family and friends have selflessly volunteered their time to personally respond to Christmas Eve phone calls and emails from children. In addition, we now track Santa using the internet. Last year, millions of people who wanted to know Santa's whereabouts visited the NORAD Tracks Santa website.

The NORAD Tracks Santa website helps you count down to Christmas. In addition there is a Kids Countdown Page with lots of fun games and activities and you can follow Santa on Google Earth.

What Jamie did for Karen's birthday

L-R: Jamie, Chase and other climbers on the top of

the Sydney Harbour Bridge on 14 December 2009

Jamie's friend, Chase, had been given a double bridge climb ticket and was going to go with his older brother but the older brother was fiddling about getting back to Chase so he offered the ticket to Jamie.

The boys took the train down to town and their climb started at 12:30 but not before they were all breathylised.

Now he sits during the news, where the newsreaders on most channels sit in front of a pic of the bridge, saying, "I've climbed that bridge," "See that bridge? I climbed that," and "Did you know the bridge is made of only straight bits of metal?"

Going West by Maurice Gee

Just beautiful . . .

Fire watching

I responded to an incident call on Friday afternoon. It was just about 1pm when the pager went off saying there had been a smoke sighting and could crews gather awaiting further instructions. I'd meant to put my PPE in the back of the car that morning but had forgotten so I had to drive all the way home (and wouldn't the roads be just CLOGGED with slow drivers???), get my kit then drive back in to Springwood and to our shed. Luckily the others waited for me.

We then headed back out here to the Winmalee shed (I could have met the others there) and sat there until after 6 when we were tasked to go and relieve Karen's brigade who were watching the fire from Faulconbridge Point. And there we sat, taking regular weather readings until after midnight when we were relieved by a Valley Heights crew. We'd whiled the time away by having dinner - those tightwads at Winmalee didn't think to feed us - we got the generator started and made ourselves toasted sandwiches and cuppas.

Pete L, Tracey and I got ourselves comfy on the rocks and played I Spy (two goes each and we were out of ideas) and The Prime Ministers Cat.

Pete McD. had been banging on about setting up his hammock all afternoon. I thought he was joking until I saw this :
I'd put my name down for the 6am crew on Saturday so was up and out again before 5:45 having got home after 1:30am. Again we were tasked to sit watching from Faulconbridge Point and taking weather readings every hour. I was armed with a book this time which I got a little bit read of and Holly played Uno with Craig. We were relieved some time after midday by Karen's lot again and headed home.

Shortly after we were back on the bitumen again and just outside Robbie's school we came across a car accident. A young girl had gone head first into a power pole and there was a live wire on the ground. No one was hurt luckily. We put witches hats on the road to keep people away from the power line and did traffic duty while waiting for the NSW Fire Brigade and the Police to come.

It was a hot, exhausting day and although we had a street party on and I was supposed to be going out with the school Mums, I just went to bed and tried to sleep.

The boys went with Jamie's friend Scott to their first concert last night - Lamb of God at Luna Park. They had a great time they said. They went down on the train but Ian went down in the car to bring them back, I didn't think it would be wise for them to be travelling home by themselves late at night.

Ishbel was supposed to be going to Carols by Candlelight with her friend Zanny but they had a bit of a falling out and she ended up coming home. She and I watched an episode of The Goodies before we both went to bed.

Tall tales and true

Sportsperson of the Year

We were back at Robbie's school again last night for another award ceremony. We almost forgot about it, Rob had to remind us while we were having dinner. Oops!

When we arrived at the school we were given a programme booklet. Looked through it twice to find Robbie's name and see what he was getting a prize for. Nothing. Looked through it backwards. Still nothing. Eeek! Told Rob to go and find out what was going on. The deputy principal, Mr Burnett, reassured Rob that he was getting an award for Sport, there had been a mistake in the printing. Relaxed again.

Sat through HOURS of prizes. Bum sore. Hot. Tired. That was Ishbel! Finally, the Sports prizes. The kids line up at the side of the hall, waiting to come on to the stage to receive their prizes before they stand facing the audience for a final round of applause. Suddenly had a second crisis of confidence, did the teacher reading out the prize winners have Rob's name on her list? Would he be left standing at the side like a dill when all the others had been called up?

The teacher did have Robbie down as (one of two) Sportsperson of the Year. Phew! She not only remembered him, but she said a little speech about him (the only student to have such a rave review) saying he was amazing, into everything and she listed all the sports teams he was in, a natural athlete and all round one of the nicest people she knows. How about that for a glowing report. So proud!

I was also greatly pleased to see Alex and Claire, my friend Joanne's daughters, get prizes; Alex for English (Yr 7) and Claire The Caltex Prize for Best All-rounder (Yr 12, best student across all subjects). Claire has finished school now and was just back from a week away on schoolies week. Joanne would have been so proud too.

Robbie's Award Day

In complete contrast to yesterday, I turned up early to Rob's award ceremony and had half an hour to kill. It was OK because they gave me a cup of tea and I had time to go and pay the 'voluntary' contribution. With three schools I get muddled about which school has been paid and which hasn't.

Rob got his award for coming second in Legal Studies. Here he is just after getting the award.

And here he is with Kate (his honourary cousin).

Kate seems to be completely incapable of posing naturally - you have no idea how many times this picture was taken - this is the best of a bad lot!

Ishbel

Ishbel with the Teacher's Core Values Award medal

and with the Premier's Reading Challenge Gold Award - this is for participating in the Premier's Reading Challenge for 4 years in a row.

My clever girl

I have been up at Springwood High School this morning because that is where Ishbel's school went for their end of year presentation ceremony. We'd been advised that Ishbel was getting an award, but not what it was for.

I nearly missed it! I saw Ishbel off on the bus to school as normal this morning and came in to work and got so thoroughly engrossed that I was in the middle of a thorny cataloguing problem discussion with Gillian when I realised it was 10 o'clock and the presentation began at 10 o'clock. I hadn't even got around to putting my bag away so was able to just grab it and race out the door. (Ian is up in Queensland so was unable to be there).

I was in plenty of time. Ishbel was called up with the others getting prizes in her class. There were prize winners for the various subjects they do (English, Maths, HSIE, Creative Arts, etc) and prize winners for the school's core values (Learning, Positive Relationships, Personal Growth and Healthy Environments). Ishbel's prize, a medal actually, was the Teachers Core Value Award - Learning.

Yay!

Unfortunately, the battery was flat in my camera so rubbish photo. Will try and get photo of Ishbel and her medal tonight or tomorrow and post then.

And I get to go back tomorrow to do it all again with Rob.

Apparently this sign was necessary at one library in the US!

Because I liked it . . .

TGIF - EU Directive No. 456179

In order to meet the conditions for joining the Single European currency, all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland must be made aware that the phrase 'Spending a Penny' is not to be used after 31st December 2009.

From this date, the correct terminology will be: 'Euronating'.

Thank you for your attention.

Shakespeare

This was played on the radio this morning.

Mo gotta go

Sorry, should have posted this a couple of days ago. Been busy.

Monday was the last day of the Mo. The picture shows how big and bushy it got (even without dangly bits) but it was with great relief all round that it was removed without ceremony on Monday night.

It's not too late to donate on Ian's Mospace page - he's raised $730. It would be great if we could tip it over the $1000 mark.

On the Mo theme, here's a story from Newsbiscuit :

Selleck’s moustache killed in gun battle
Tom Selleck’s Magnum PI moustache, which starred with him in the hit 1980s TV series ‘Magnum PI’ died today in a gun battle with a Los Angeles SWAT team outside an LA drinks store.
The moustache never recovered after work dried up and was devastated when Selleck degided to go without a moustache for a few years, only to return with a younger, bushier model. Eventually, it sank into playing the moustache of deliverymen and repairmen in porn movies.

Witnesses say that the moustache was hysterical, shouting that when he and the guy who used to play Higgins used to go ‘tomcatting’ around Hawaii, and could get ‘any tail they wanted’. The moustache is survived by some bumfluff.

Jason O’Mahony

Ishbel's poem

Ishbel wrote this poem at school.

I don't want an outside cat!

I don't want an outside cat
A nitty gritty slabby tabby cat

I don't want an outside cat
A cat that hides in the bushes

I don't want an outside cat
A fighting with other outside cat

I don't want an outside cat
A crying at the door for breakfast cat

I don't want an outside cat
A hiding under cars when it rains cat

I want an inside cat
A furry purry Bermilla inside cat.

She may have a point - Abigail and I are waiting to go up to the vet this morning. Jamie and I took her up on Saturday morning with a nasty, suppurating wound on her cheek which she has got in a fight with another cat/possum. She was given an antibiotic injection and a painkilling injection and this morning the vet will decide whether she needs an operation to open the wound to be drained.

TGIF - What's up Mac?

For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO : Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT : Mac?

COSTELLO : No, the name's Lou

ABBOTT : Your computer?

COSTELLO : I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT : Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT : What about Windows?

COSTELLO : Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT : Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO : I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT : Wallpaper.

COSTELLO : Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT : Software for Windows?

COSTELLO : No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT : Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT : I just did.

COSTELLO : You just did what?

ABBOTT : Recommend something.

COSTELLO : You recommended something ?

ABBOTT : Yes.

COSTELLO : For my office?

ABBOTT : Yes.

COSTELLO : OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT : Office.

COSTELLO : Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT : I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO : I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT : Word.

COSTELLO : What word?

ABBOTT : Word in Office.

COSTELLO : The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT : The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO : Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT : The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO : I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO : That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT : Money.

COSTELLO : I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT : It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO : What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT : Money.

COSTELLO : Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT : Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO : I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT : One copy.

COSTELLO : Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT : Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO : They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT : Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT : Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO : How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT : Click on 'START'. . .

Hot weekend

It was hotter than hades all weekend, a Total Fire Ban was declared and then yesterday we woke up to a freezing 16C! If we all get the 'flu I won't be at all surprised.

It was a peaceful weekend with the boys off at a Venturer thing called Waratah that they go to each year. Just popped over to Facebook to see what they got up to but I don't think they've written about it.

I saw Robbie for the first time in what seemed like ages this morning (Tuesday) because the boys left for Waratah before I came home from work on Friday afternoon, I was at the station on standby until after 6:30pm on Sunday, the day they came back - I think I may have seen Robbie fleetingly before he went off to bed after his heavy weekend - he told me they made a raft out of an old table - I was up early yesterday morning before Rob got up to attend a conference in the City, he was at work by the time I got home and by the time he got home after 11pm I was tucked up in bed, snoring! I had trouble recognising him when he popped his nose round the bathroom door!!!!

Ian drove up to the Waratah with the boys because they needed someone to pull a trailer. He was unsure whether he would drive home again afterwards, I didn't want him to because it would be very late. Anyhow, Ishbel and I were the only ones home and readied ourselves for a girls night in. We rang and invited Karen so she and Xavier (promoted to girl for the evening) came over for a few hours.

Xavier is walking really well, albeit with that holding his arms up and out, loose-kneed, orangutan looking way. He'd just been doing a step or two when we saw him not long ago. It was a bit disconcerting when he bolted off along the length of the kitchen!

On Saturday evening we had some of the RFS crowd round for a BBQ. We had to arrange ourselves round social butterflies Nigel and Amanda who we hadn't seen for many months. Nigel is now working in real estate, working Saturday and Sunday and unable to come to training. We hadn't got together with the others for a while either so it was nice to hang out again.

On Sunday I'd put myself down for Standby at the station. I went armed with a board game, Carcasonne, and a book. The first thing we did was get loaded up in the truck and drive into Springwood for coffees! Just as we got back in the truck we watched a man scrape the car in front of him as he reversed into a car parking space. He then started to drive forward again to leave. Quick as a flash Steve was out the truck and over the road to tell him that if he didn't report it, we would. He tried to deny touching the car. "There's six firefighters in that truck would testify otherwise," said Steve. How did he think he could get away with it?

Back at the shed, I swept out the tanker bay - a complete waste of time because the wind blew all the dust and leaves back in again and by the time we left, it looked as it did before I started! In between weather reports from Narrow Neck nr Katoomba and Glenbrook, we played games, Carcassonne as mentioned before and Scrabble on Pete's iphone. At one point, according to our calculations, the RFS FDI or Fire Danger Index hit the new rating "Catastrophic"! I bought a couple of boxes on Friday and wrote out a list for our Bushfire Relocation Kits.

About 2am on Monday morning the cool change came through (I know because I was awake) and by morning it was even quite chilly. I had to be at the train station to catch the 6:40am train to the City to attend the Public Libraries NSW Conference which is being held in the Masonic Lodge on Goulburn Street - we had the speeches in the hall complete with big thrones, etc. Most of the speeches were interesting but the last session was deadly and it was all I could do to stay awake.

We wake up to the 6am news each morning. In this morning's news was a story about a ram raid on a fashion shop in which Prada bags among other goodies were stolen. I wonder if our management team, Vicki, Patou and Leisa, were involved - they were staying down there for a couple of nights!!

It's a scorcher!

It's very warm here today. I've just been down to the bank during my lunch break. When we first go out of the building, we're still nice and cool for a few minutes but the heat is quite oppressive and despite dandering along at what Gillian calls "Melanesian pace", I was soon hot and bothered.

I met Klaus in town. His brother Michael is back again (he comes for several months every 2-3 years). He left Germany yesterday with 8C and arrived this morning to this! Reminds me of my first trip to Australia - I left Edinburgh the first day we had snow and 30 odd hours later arrived to 40C in Albury-Wodonga!

A thunderstorm is now rumbling about and there was lightning when I was out. Gillian was curious as to the temperature and look what she found :

It was forecast to be a warm one but I don't think a top of 44.4C was cited.

Travel Advice for Australia

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins).

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. __________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )
A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not . . . Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________
Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
_________________________________________________
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. . .
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is . . . Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
__________________________________________________
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
__________________________________________________
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
__________________________________________________
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

Mo on the grow

Here he is a little over two weeks on. This is a vast improvement with the two little dangly bits shaved off - he was going for the bandido look over the weekend but it was frowned on and it's gone.

Not our brigade but it'll give you a taste for the RFS

Good old South Katoomba - ? now renamed - some of them are even nice people!

Celebrating 40 Years of Sesame Street

Bit late with this, Sesame Street was celebrating its 40th Birthday last week.




Hooray for Cookie Monster!

I think that this would have to be my favourite Sesame Street thing though :



It was a big hit when we lived in Iserlohn.

TGIF - Nunsense

Three nuns were at a rugby final.

Three men were sitting directly behind them.

Because their head-dresses were particularly blocking the view, the men began to badger the nuns, hoping that they'd get annoyed enough to move to another area.

In a very loud voice the first guy said, "I think I'm going to move to Sydney; there are only 100 nuns living there."

Then the second guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Tasmania; there are only 50 nuns living there."

The third guy said, "I want to go to New Zealand; there are only 25 nuns living there."

One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men and in a very sweet and calm voice said,

"WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL .. THERE AREN'T ANY NUNS THERE!"

Convicts, chicks and chocolate - what more could you ask for?

Flickr slideshow for the Book Thieves weekend away

We were reading The Secret River (Mother knows this one well!) for my Springwood book group this month. A while ago we decided that, because the book was based on the Hawkesbury River and the main character, William Thornhill, is based on an ancestor of the author called Solomon Wiseman who settled there in the early 1800s, we'd go to Wiseman's Ferry on the Hawkesbury for a weekend.

Months ago I rang the Wiseman's Ferry hotel to see about room costs and booking. I was told we didn't need to book. Last Wednesday I filled out an online booking thing and, not having had a reply in the stipulated couple of days, rang them on Friday to check. Good job I did. They were booked out. I was told they are always busy on the weekends! The man on the phone didn't hold out much chance of me getting a room in Wiseman's Ferry that weekend - there was a wedding on. Turns out he was right and, many phone calls later, we ended up having to take rooms at a place called St Albans, some way north of Wiseman's Ferry. Catherine gave the woman our sob story though and she gave us a special rate.

Not everyone was able to stay overnight. In the end there were just 5 of us staying overnight and 8 of the full group quota of 11 who were able to go at all. We gathered at Mary's house for 11am on Saturday morning and headed off in two cars. We'd not arranged a rendez-vous at our destination but figured the Wiseman's Ferry hotel, built as a home for Soloman Wiseman, would be the logical place. Luckily the girls in the other car thought so too.

Having 'powedered our noses' we headed back down to the riverside park to have a picnic lunch. It had been cloudy all morning but the sun came out as we set up the table and it was lovely by the river, feeding crackers to the kookaburra. After lunch, with champagne, we went back up the hill to the hotel, everyone grabbed a cuppa and we had our meeting.

Heather still had the last couple of pages to go. They happened to be the pages where William Thornhill is sitting on the verandah of his house looking out at the cliffs opposite. The description of the cliffs, as the rest of the story, is beautiful and Heather read it aloud to us as we gazed on the same view. We then got on with a discussion of the book, all had enjoyed it, and put in our reading suggestions for next year. We don't usually have a meeting in January because folk are away and this year it would be on New Year's Day so we've determined to go on an excursion to the movies - regardless of what film is on!

The meeting over, we said goodbye to the day trippers and Catherine, Trish, Heather, Mary and I piled into Mary's car and headed off for St Albans via the ferry. En route we stopped at a tiny little cemetary. They seemed to be a healthy lot; even in the mid to late 1800s the people were living into their 80s, 90s and even one to 100.

Finally we arrived at the Settlers Inn. We'd booked two rooms with the hotel needing to put an extra bed in one of the rooms. This seemed to be a bit of a challenge for the staff but finally we were shown to a couple of cabins out the back of the lovely old 1830s Inn. Drawing our names out of a hat, we decided on who was sleeping where and I ended up in Cabin 6 with Heather.

We had a drink in our room before going across to the Inn for dinner. The menu didn't look real great initially, there were no vegetarian or even chicken dishes on the menu and I thought I was stumped but when I asked about getting veggie something I was offered goats cheese tart which turned out to be very very tasty.

Waiting for our meal we were joined by two french men, Jean-Paul and Christophe, who ended up joining us for our meal. Everyone we met asked what we were doing there and we'd tell them about reading The Secret River. One of Jean-Paul's children had had to read it for school so he knew about it. Later we were joined by an aboriginal man, Colin, who had also read it. We also met Henry who is Deputy Captain in the RFS up there.

Back in our room we had more wine and chocolte, chatted and went to bed. Mary and Catherine were up early and out for walks early the next morning but Heather and I must've slept until 8:30 or so and were last ones up.

We had a breakfast of leftover picnic bread, salad and cheese then went for a wee walk across the river from the Inn. Saw a lovely cottage, Price Wilson Cottage, which looked idyllic. We ended up stopping in Windsor for fish and chips (the fish shop there is famous) and in an absolute downpour checked out the local markets. Then we headed south and back home.

TGIF - Questions you just can't answer

• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?


• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?


• Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?


• Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?


• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?


• Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?


• What is the speed of darkness?


• Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?


• Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?


• If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?


• Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?


• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


• Did you ever stop and wonder...... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'


• Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'


• Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


• Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?


• Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?


• Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?


• Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !


• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?


• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?


• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


• Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on.......

• Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?


• Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


• Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?


• Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
  

Mo on the go

Thought I'd show you the difference a week makes!

He's pretty pleased with himself. It grosses me out - should've kept my mouth shut!

Not a lot of snogging going on around here; it's waaaaay too prickly. And he's starting to look like Captain Mainwaring!!!

Mo' mo stuff

To sponsor Ian's Mo, you can either:
* Click this link http://au.movember.com/mospace/254992/ and donate online using your credit card or PayPal account
* Write a cheque payable to 'Movember Foundation', referencing my Registration Number 254992 and mailing it to: Movember Foundation, PO Box 292, Prahran, VIC, 3181
Remember, all donations over $2 are tax deductible.

Melbourne Cup

It's the Melbourne Cup day today. It's about 7 minutes to 3 so the race will be starting soon. People flapping about here trying to get the TV to work - it's usually used to display what the security camera in the Council office is recording. We might have to race down to Retravision if it doesn't work!!

I've got $6 riding on 3 horses but I don't know who they are at the moment.

Going to get hairy around here!

Ian is taking part in Movember this year.

Movember is an annual, month-long celebration of the moustache, highlighting men’s health issues, specifically prostate cancer and depression in men.

Mo Bros, supported by their Mo Sistas, start Movember (November 1st) clean shaven and then have the remainder of the month to grow and groom their moustache.

The idea for Movember came about in 2003 when a few mates were having a beer in a small bar in Fitzroy, Melbourne. Inspired by the women’s health movement, it was recognized that men were lacking a way to engage and actively involve themselves in their own health. During a conversation about fashion and past trends, the idea came up to bring the moustache back for one month, and in doing so, have some fun, raise a small amount of money and hopefully encourage men to talk about their health with each other.

As his Mo Sista, I am not going to shave my legs all month.

TGIF - Cat found

This poster was put up by Japanese students and photographed in Brunswick, Melbourne :

Well done that girl!

We had Josie at the vet last night for her 1 year old injections (Xavier had his?)

We were commended on what a lovely-natured, well-behaved dog we had and on the good condition she is in (not too fat, beautiful white teeth).

She was a vet we hadn't seen before. I didn't tell her the pearly white teeth were probably because of the roughage in Josie's diet - couches, hot water bottles, wellies, garden hoses, mobile phones . . .

Laughing at work

Gillian had me in hysterics yesterday (I hope this reads as funny as it was at the time).

Gillian took a book off the cataloguing shelf called Dear Editor . . . The collected letters of Oscar Brittle. And she read from the flyleaf : "To some newspaper and magazine editors, who don't have time for his 'exploits', he is 'opinionated' and 'divisive', while others 'don't know what to make of him'. to some readers he is 'living in the past'; an 'arrogant toff' who needs 'a drink poured over his head'. To his growing legion of fans - those who understand him - he is 'commendable' and 'heroic'; a man of ideas, of pedigree, of unimpeachable integrity, and, quite simply, the most significant and powerful contibutor to public debate in contemporary Australia."

Then Gillian read a few excerpts :

"There are so many things that make me cranky, I don't even know where to start."

Oscar Brittle, Killara, NSW in The Australian Monday February 27, 2006

"Dear Editor,

After six years of painstaking research, I am able to conclude that all of the world's conspiracy theories are the work of one man. That man is Derek Ronald Jenkins of 12 Millwood Lane, Cambridge, United Kingdom. (Block out the address if you need to.)

Facts simply do not lie.

Jenkins has been placed at the scene of some of the most newsworthy events of the last fifty years - the My Lai Massacre, the murder of Lord Mountbatten and the Oklahoma bombings. He has well-established links to the CIA, the KGB, the BBC and the Black Hand. He spends up to 80 hours per week on the internet and last year received England's fourth highest annual private telephone bill. His blinds are usually drawn. He has got to be up to something."

Rejected by the Hobart Mercury

and

"Dear Editor,

I have recently been self-diagnosed with prostrate cancer - thanks to the electric internet and some gentle prodding. However, I still have a few questions. How can I skip the middleman and convince a surgeon to go ahead and operate? Or is it possible to 'self-medicate' in these situations and remove the wretched gland myself? I'm very tempted by the latter, I must admit."

Rejected by the New Idea magazine

This all had me nearly hysterical and certainly in tears with laughter. My hysteria only increased when the next book Gillian pulled off the shelf was called An exact replica of a figment of my imagination.

One for the hypercondriacs

The Google Flu Trends website enables you to track the flu world-wide.

Actually, not world-wide. I was going to explain how using the drop down list at the left of the full screen lets you narrow down to your particular area - for me Australia > NSW - and in giving it a go, found that the UK isn't white because it's virtually flu free; it's because there's no data from there. Hmmmm.

Ah well, if you want to see what risk Karen and I are facing . . . must remember and book us all in for the free H1N1 jabs clinic. Although, listening to the radio this morning, it might be better to wait a few weeks to see if Ishbel will be able to get it too - at the moment it's for the over 10s as they haven't worked out how many doses to give the children but some guy on the radio said this morning that that should be worked out in a few weeks.

The first one off to a 'real' fire

We got a call yesterday asking for crews to attend a fire at Wentworth Falls over the weekend. While my back is much better, I have some work to do to make it strong again and won't be back to the RFS for a couple more weeks. So that was me out. Rob was at work so we couldn't confirm his availability so Jamie got the guernsey. We are awaiting Bec, the Duty Officer, to contact us to let us know if one or both boys will be required tomorrow.

Jamie was to be at the shed by 5:15am. At almost 4:30am I was awake and went up to wake him. They went up to Hazelbrook in the PC (Sh*tbox) where they met the crew who had been out in the Cat1 (Big Red Truck) during the night and headed up to Wenty.

First task was working on deepening the containment lines by doing some more backburning. Then they were moved and were doing some blacking out - checking smouldering logs etc to ensure they don't reignite. While doing that they were told the fire was making a run back up the hill towards them so they had to beat a retreat to a containment line with several other brigades which they were tasked not to let the fire cross. The National Parks and Wildlife Service (NPWS) had helicopters on the go and they managed to slow the fire down enough to eliminate the danger. During this time Jamie and the gang were hanging about doing nothing for 3 hours - "hurry up and wait" is the RFS motto! They were relieved about 5:30pm and sent home.

The NPWS had been doing a hazard reduction and initial thoughts were that the burn had got away from them, but Jamie says it looks like it may have been arson . . .

TGIF - Technical problems

As the system administrator at work, I'm seen by many staff as the computer guru and most of the time just fudge it because they know soooo little about working computers so this struck a chord (click on the picture for a bigger look):

What's everyone else doing?

There going bonkers on the internet in one way or another as this shows : Gary's Social Media Count

Away at a conference this week

Gillian and I have spent the last few days in Sydney at the SirsiDynix Asia Pacific User Conference 2009 in Sydney. (SirsiDynix provide the library management system which the Blue Mountains Library uses to issue and return books, catalogue them, etc.)

We have had an interesting and exhausting mix of business and pleasure.

We went to the theatre and saw an all-girl production of The Taming of the Shrew by the Bell Shakespeare Company (Gillian is still a bit traumatised!) and we tested iced coffee and hot chocolate at the Guylian cafe on Circular Quay (both highly recommended).

We had been to some of the libraries on the Library Tours so decided to catch everyone else up at the Customs House Library which is a really interesting building.

We also attended the conference dinner at the Overseas Passenger Terminal which has beautiful views of the Opera House.

As with any conference or other event there are some boring bits

and you have to take the good with the bad, but there were some compensations

and we have come away with some gems of information which make it all worth while.

TGIF - Microsoft Support

We've all talked to this guy . . .

Xavier's First Birthday

A good time was had by all.

And here's more photos : Click Here

Best friends

Awwwww

Then and Now

Josie in January

Josie today

TGIF - new mouse for women

I was sent this by a collegue and I'm not sure I should be indulging him . . .

After years of research, scientists have discovered that women do not like the standard mouse supplied with PCs.

Scientists found that there is no physical reason for their aversion; it is more of a Psychological problem.Some women reported that their mouse 'just didn't feel right' in their hands.

Based on the research, a new mouse has been designed especially for women.Various field tests have been carried out on the new design.

Customer feedback has been positive:

Julie from Hounslow said: It feels so much better. More comfortable, more like how it's supposed to be.

Susan from Chelmsford added: I think mice were originally designed just for men, but this new type is definitely made for women.

Hillary from Kent said: It fits right in with my lifestyle. I took to it like a duck to water, every woman should have one!

Sally from London said: It feels so natural.


Of course, we need to remember these were English women responding thus.

TGIF - Big slip

How on earth did they get this right?

Jamie's school photos

Jamie came home with his school photos this week. They came in a lovely presetation booklet that included this page which gave me a giggle.

The quote reads: "Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world" and it appears from this page that the quote comes from both Nelson Mandela AND our Jamie.

I don't remember Jamie telling me about meeting this great man but then he never tells me anything about what happens at school.

Again, double click to see the picture full size.

NAPLAN results

In May Years 3, 5, 7 and 9 did some literacy and numeracy tests as they always do. This year was a bit different in that the test was a National test, the National Assessment Program - Literacy and Numeracy (NAPLAN).

Ishbel's results are below. I thnk if you double click on the image it will make it full screen size. To help you interpret the result:

• 
  the lighter blue bit within the blue column tells you the range of achievement for the middle 60% of Yr 3 students in Australia
• the black triangle shows the national average for Yr 3 students
• the clear triangle shows the average for Yr 3 students in Ishbel's school
• the black dot shows Ishbel's result.
  
  As you can see she has her black dot off the scale in several areas - this means "the result is well above the expected level of achievement for Yr 3 students".
  

Go Ishbel!

Some links for you

Finally uploaded and ready to look at:

Dust storm video - commentary by Rob. Unfortunately doesn't look quite as ORANGE on screen as it was here.

Xavier - it starts off sideways; don't worry it gets righted.

2009 Photostream - includes our latest day with the wee one.

The weekend in review

Image via Wikipedia

Still not back at work. I write this wearing my pyjamas and my RFS fleece with a hot water bottle down the back of my trousers and I am using the keyboard and mouse on the ironing board so I don't have to sit.

The back cracker lady (osteopath) wants me to have a phased return to work but when Vicki raised this with Council's HR/HB&S dept they said I have to be fully fit for work before I can return. If I'd hurt my back at work I would be covered by Worker's Compensation and they would be doing everything they could to get me back to work so I am quite cross and frustrated at this. (Not entirely surprised though - Gillian broke her collar bone a couple of years ago and they said the same to her). Because I had to take so much time off to look after Ian and take him to appointments over the past 6 months I have used half the sick leave I had accumulated prior to 20th March and will run out of sick leave this week. I am going have to eat into my annual leave which I was trying to build up so I could spend time at home with the kids during the long summer/Christmas holidays. I don't know if this will be taken into account by Ian's Worker's Compensation claim.

Anyway enough of my woes.

Had a lovely visit from Karen, Ben and Xavier on Friday. Ben and Jamie played XBox while Karen and Xavier entertained me in my bed. Jamie had finished his exams and had a couple of days off. Rob finishes his exams today but has to go right back to full routine - I think.

Everyone had a busy weekend.

Rob went off to the City all day on Saturday to meet up with half a dozen of the kids he went to Japan with. He had a great day. He borrowed my camera but I haven't seen the photos yet.

Jamie meantime was on duty in Springwood town centre for the RFS Open Day. Valley Heights man a stall with Winmalee and Faulconbridge brigades each year. Later he went on to the Walker's house. His mate Nick's parents, Graeme and Kim, are involved in a re-enactment society and Jamie has been going each month for quite a while. He is busy making his own chain mail something. Weeks of work has resulted in a square of chain mail about 10x10cm. This week he came home with a sword he'd bought from Graeme. Very pleased with himself he was.

Ishbel had a date with her pal, Zanny, for a sleepover. Ian and I thought we were going to have a lovely quiet day just the two of us but then Zanny rang to postpone picking Ishbel up until 3pm! Not long after that Jamie arrived home.

On Sunday morning Ian and the boys were up early to go paintballing with Nick and Graeme. They came home early afternoon not only covered in splodges of blue paint but also in large bruises that look like burns from a particularly large cigarette. Brutal stuff! Asked if he'd had fun and if he'd go again, Ian said Yes and No.

TGIF - What not to do with a library book

Some of you might be astonished, stunned, flabbergasted, astounded, gob-smacked, speechless, amazed, dumbfounded, incredulous or just plain dismayed by what some people do with their library books. Some may not be astonished, stunned, flabbergasted, etc. that someone has felt the need to make a poster like this one :

The need for most of those instructions beggars belief. I'm pleased to be able to report that the injunction not to "Fight bears with this book" is one that we will be able to leave off the Blue Mountains City Library version of this poster - all our drop bears (koalas) have been to koala training and are fairly tame!