TGIF - Questions you just can't answer

• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?


• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?


• Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?


• Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?


• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?


• Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?


• What is the speed of darkness?


• Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?


• Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?


• If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?


• Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?


• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


• Did you ever stop and wonder...... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'


• Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'


• Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


• Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?


• Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?


• Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?


• Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !


• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?


• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?


• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


• Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on.......

• Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?


• Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


• Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?


• Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?