Mo gotta go

Sorry, should have posted this a couple of days ago. Been busy.

Monday was the last day of the Mo. The picture shows how big and bushy it got (even without dangly bits) but it was with great relief all round that it was removed without ceremony on Monday night.

It's not too late to donate on Ian's Mospace page - he's raised $730. It would be great if we could tip it over the $1000 mark.

On the Mo theme, here's a story from Newsbiscuit :

Selleck’s moustache killed in gun battle
Tom Selleck’s Magnum PI moustache, which starred with him in the hit 1980s TV series ‘Magnum PI’ died today in a gun battle with a Los Angeles SWAT team outside an LA drinks store.
The moustache never recovered after work dried up and was devastated when Selleck degided to go without a moustache for a few years, only to return with a younger, bushier model. Eventually, it sank into playing the moustache of deliverymen and repairmen in porn movies.

Witnesses say that the moustache was hysterical, shouting that when he and the guy who used to play Higgins used to go ‘tomcatting’ around Hawaii, and could get ‘any tail they wanted’. The moustache is survived by some bumfluff.

Jason O’Mahony

Ishbel's poem

Ishbel wrote this poem at school.

I don't want an outside cat!

I don't want an outside cat
A nitty gritty slabby tabby cat

I don't want an outside cat
A cat that hides in the bushes

I don't want an outside cat
A fighting with other outside cat

I don't want an outside cat
A crying at the door for breakfast cat

I don't want an outside cat
A hiding under cars when it rains cat

I want an inside cat
A furry purry Bermilla inside cat.

She may have a point - Abigail and I are waiting to go up to the vet this morning. Jamie and I took her up on Saturday morning with a nasty, suppurating wound on her cheek which she has got in a fight with another cat/possum. She was given an antibiotic injection and a painkilling injection and this morning the vet will decide whether she needs an operation to open the wound to be drained.

TGIF - What's up Mac?

For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO : Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT : Mac?

COSTELLO : No, the name's Lou

ABBOTT : Your computer?

COSTELLO : I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT : Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT : What about Windows?

COSTELLO : Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT : Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO : I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT : Wallpaper.

COSTELLO : Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT : Software for Windows?

COSTELLO : No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT : Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT : I just did.

COSTELLO : You just did what?

ABBOTT : Recommend something.

COSTELLO : You recommended something ?

ABBOTT : Yes.

COSTELLO : For my office?

ABBOTT : Yes.

COSTELLO : OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT : Office.

COSTELLO : Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT : I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO : I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT : Word.

COSTELLO : What word?

ABBOTT : Word in Office.

COSTELLO : The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT : The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO : Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT : The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO : I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO : That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT : Money.

COSTELLO : I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT : It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO : What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT : Money.

COSTELLO : Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT : Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO : I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT : One copy.

COSTELLO : Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT : Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO : They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT : Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT : Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO : How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT : Click on 'START'. . .

Hot weekend

It was hotter than hades all weekend, a Total Fire Ban was declared and then yesterday we woke up to a freezing 16C! If we all get the 'flu I won't be at all surprised.

It was a peaceful weekend with the boys off at a Venturer thing called Waratah that they go to each year. Just popped over to Facebook to see what they got up to but I don't think they've written about it.

I saw Robbie for the first time in what seemed like ages this morning (Tuesday) because the boys left for Waratah before I came home from work on Friday afternoon, I was at the station on standby until after 6:30pm on Sunday, the day they came back - I think I may have seen Robbie fleetingly before he went off to bed after his heavy weekend - he told me they made a raft out of an old table - I was up early yesterday morning before Rob got up to attend a conference in the City, he was at work by the time I got home and by the time he got home after 11pm I was tucked up in bed, snoring! I had trouble recognising him when he popped his nose round the bathroom door!!!!

Ian drove up to the Waratah with the boys because they needed someone to pull a trailer. He was unsure whether he would drive home again afterwards, I didn't want him to because it would be very late. Anyhow, Ishbel and I were the only ones home and readied ourselves for a girls night in. We rang and invited Karen so she and Xavier (promoted to girl for the evening) came over for a few hours.

Xavier is walking really well, albeit with that holding his arms up and out, loose-kneed, orangutan looking way. He'd just been doing a step or two when we saw him not long ago. It was a bit disconcerting when he bolted off along the length of the kitchen!

On Saturday evening we had some of the RFS crowd round for a BBQ. We had to arrange ourselves round social butterflies Nigel and Amanda who we hadn't seen for many months. Nigel is now working in real estate, working Saturday and Sunday and unable to come to training. We hadn't got together with the others for a while either so it was nice to hang out again.

On Sunday I'd put myself down for Standby at the station. I went armed with a board game, Carcasonne, and a book. The first thing we did was get loaded up in the truck and drive into Springwood for coffees! Just as we got back in the truck we watched a man scrape the car in front of him as he reversed into a car parking space. He then started to drive forward again to leave. Quick as a flash Steve was out the truck and over the road to tell him that if he didn't report it, we would. He tried to deny touching the car. "There's six firefighters in that truck would testify otherwise," said Steve. How did he think he could get away with it?

Back at the shed, I swept out the tanker bay - a complete waste of time because the wind blew all the dust and leaves back in again and by the time we left, it looked as it did before I started! In between weather reports from Narrow Neck nr Katoomba and Glenbrook, we played games, Carcassonne as mentioned before and Scrabble on Pete's iphone. At one point, according to our calculations, the RFS FDI or Fire Danger Index hit the new rating "Catastrophic"! I bought a couple of boxes on Friday and wrote out a list for our Bushfire Relocation Kits.

About 2am on Monday morning the cool change came through (I know because I was awake) and by morning it was even quite chilly. I had to be at the train station to catch the 6:40am train to the City to attend the Public Libraries NSW Conference which is being held in the Masonic Lodge on Goulburn Street - we had the speeches in the hall complete with big thrones, etc. Most of the speeches were interesting but the last session was deadly and it was all I could do to stay awake.

We wake up to the 6am news each morning. In this morning's news was a story about a ram raid on a fashion shop in which Prada bags among other goodies were stolen. I wonder if our management team, Vicki, Patou and Leisa, were involved - they were staying down there for a couple of nights!!

It's a scorcher!

It's very warm here today. I've just been down to the bank during my lunch break. When we first go out of the building, we're still nice and cool for a few minutes but the heat is quite oppressive and despite dandering along at what Gillian calls "Melanesian pace", I was soon hot and bothered.

I met Klaus in town. His brother Michael is back again (he comes for several months every 2-3 years). He left Germany yesterday with 8C and arrived this morning to this! Reminds me of my first trip to Australia - I left Edinburgh the first day we had snow and 30 odd hours later arrived to 40C in Albury-Wodonga!

A thunderstorm is now rumbling about and there was lightning when I was out. Gillian was curious as to the temperature and look what she found :

It was forecast to be a warm one but I don't think a top of 44.4C was cited.

Travel Advice for Australia

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins).

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. __________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )
A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not . . . Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________
Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
_________________________________________________
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. . .
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is . . . Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
__________________________________________________
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
__________________________________________________
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
__________________________________________________
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

Mo on the grow

Here he is a little over two weeks on. This is a vast improvement with the two little dangly bits shaved off - he was going for the bandido look over the weekend but it was frowned on and it's gone.

Not our brigade but it'll give you a taste for the RFS

Good old South Katoomba - ? now renamed - some of them are even nice people!

Celebrating 40 Years of Sesame Street

Bit late with this, Sesame Street was celebrating its 40th Birthday last week.




Hooray for Cookie Monster!

I think that this would have to be my favourite Sesame Street thing though :



It was a big hit when we lived in Iserlohn.

TGIF - Nunsense

Three nuns were at a rugby final.

Three men were sitting directly behind them.

Because their head-dresses were particularly blocking the view, the men began to badger the nuns, hoping that they'd get annoyed enough to move to another area.

In a very loud voice the first guy said, "I think I'm going to move to Sydney; there are only 100 nuns living there."

Then the second guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Tasmania; there are only 50 nuns living there."

The third guy said, "I want to go to New Zealand; there are only 25 nuns living there."

One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men and in a very sweet and calm voice said,

"WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL .. THERE AREN'T ANY NUNS THERE!"

Convicts, chicks and chocolate - what more could you ask for?

Flickr slideshow for the Book Thieves weekend away

We were reading The Secret River (Mother knows this one well!) for my Springwood book group this month. A while ago we decided that, because the book was based on the Hawkesbury River and the main character, William Thornhill, is based on an ancestor of the author called Solomon Wiseman who settled there in the early 1800s, we'd go to Wiseman's Ferry on the Hawkesbury for a weekend.

Months ago I rang the Wiseman's Ferry hotel to see about room costs and booking. I was told we didn't need to book. Last Wednesday I filled out an online booking thing and, not having had a reply in the stipulated couple of days, rang them on Friday to check. Good job I did. They were booked out. I was told they are always busy on the weekends! The man on the phone didn't hold out much chance of me getting a room in Wiseman's Ferry that weekend - there was a wedding on. Turns out he was right and, many phone calls later, we ended up having to take rooms at a place called St Albans, some way north of Wiseman's Ferry. Catherine gave the woman our sob story though and she gave us a special rate.

Not everyone was able to stay overnight. In the end there were just 5 of us staying overnight and 8 of the full group quota of 11 who were able to go at all. We gathered at Mary's house for 11am on Saturday morning and headed off in two cars. We'd not arranged a rendez-vous at our destination but figured the Wiseman's Ferry hotel, built as a home for Soloman Wiseman, would be the logical place. Luckily the girls in the other car thought so too.

Having 'powedered our noses' we headed back down to the riverside park to have a picnic lunch. It had been cloudy all morning but the sun came out as we set up the table and it was lovely by the river, feeding crackers to the kookaburra. After lunch, with champagne, we went back up the hill to the hotel, everyone grabbed a cuppa and we had our meeting.

Heather still had the last couple of pages to go. They happened to be the pages where William Thornhill is sitting on the verandah of his house looking out at the cliffs opposite. The description of the cliffs, as the rest of the story, is beautiful and Heather read it aloud to us as we gazed on the same view. We then got on with a discussion of the book, all had enjoyed it, and put in our reading suggestions for next year. We don't usually have a meeting in January because folk are away and this year it would be on New Year's Day so we've determined to go on an excursion to the movies - regardless of what film is on!

The meeting over, we said goodbye to the day trippers and Catherine, Trish, Heather, Mary and I piled into Mary's car and headed off for St Albans via the ferry. En route we stopped at a tiny little cemetary. They seemed to be a healthy lot; even in the mid to late 1800s the people were living into their 80s, 90s and even one to 100.

Finally we arrived at the Settlers Inn. We'd booked two rooms with the hotel needing to put an extra bed in one of the rooms. This seemed to be a bit of a challenge for the staff but finally we were shown to a couple of cabins out the back of the lovely old 1830s Inn. Drawing our names out of a hat, we decided on who was sleeping where and I ended up in Cabin 6 with Heather.

We had a drink in our room before going across to the Inn for dinner. The menu didn't look real great initially, there were no vegetarian or even chicken dishes on the menu and I thought I was stumped but when I asked about getting veggie something I was offered goats cheese tart which turned out to be very very tasty.

Waiting for our meal we were joined by two french men, Jean-Paul and Christophe, who ended up joining us for our meal. Everyone we met asked what we were doing there and we'd tell them about reading The Secret River. One of Jean-Paul's children had had to read it for school so he knew about it. Later we were joined by an aboriginal man, Colin, who had also read it. We also met Henry who is Deputy Captain in the RFS up there.

Back in our room we had more wine and chocolte, chatted and went to bed. Mary and Catherine were up early and out for walks early the next morning but Heather and I must've slept until 8:30 or so and were last ones up.

We had a breakfast of leftover picnic bread, salad and cheese then went for a wee walk across the river from the Inn. Saw a lovely cottage, Price Wilson Cottage, which looked idyllic. We ended up stopping in Windsor for fish and chips (the fish shop there is famous) and in an absolute downpour checked out the local markets. Then we headed south and back home.

TGIF - Questions you just can't answer

• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?


• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?


• Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?


• Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?


• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?


• Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?


• What is the speed of darkness?


• Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?


• Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?


• If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?


• Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?


• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


• Did you ever stop and wonder...... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'


• Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'


• Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


• Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?


• Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?


• Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?


• Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !


• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?


• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?


• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


• Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on.......

• Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?


• Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


• Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?


• Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
  

Mo on the go

Thought I'd show you the difference a week makes!

He's pretty pleased with himself. It grosses me out - should've kept my mouth shut!

Not a lot of snogging going on around here; it's waaaaay too prickly. And he's starting to look like Captain Mainwaring!!!

Mo' mo stuff

To sponsor Ian's Mo, you can either:
* Click this link http://au.movember.com/mospace/254992/ and donate online using your credit card or PayPal account
* Write a cheque payable to 'Movember Foundation', referencing my Registration Number 254992 and mailing it to: Movember Foundation, PO Box 292, Prahran, VIC, 3181
Remember, all donations over $2 are tax deductible.

Melbourne Cup

It's the Melbourne Cup day today. It's about 7 minutes to 3 so the race will be starting soon. People flapping about here trying to get the TV to work - it's usually used to display what the security camera in the Council office is recording. We might have to race down to Retravision if it doesn't work!!

I've got $6 riding on 3 horses but I don't know who they are at the moment.

Going to get hairy around here!

Ian is taking part in Movember this year.

Movember is an annual, month-long celebration of the moustache, highlighting men’s health issues, specifically prostate cancer and depression in men.

Mo Bros, supported by their Mo Sistas, start Movember (November 1st) clean shaven and then have the remainder of the month to grow and groom their moustache.

The idea for Movember came about in 2003 when a few mates were having a beer in a small bar in Fitzroy, Melbourne. Inspired by the women’s health movement, it was recognized that men were lacking a way to engage and actively involve themselves in their own health. During a conversation about fashion and past trends, the idea came up to bring the moustache back for one month, and in doing so, have some fun, raise a small amount of money and hopefully encourage men to talk about their health with each other.

As his Mo Sista, I am not going to shave my legs all month.