Rob has jetted off to Japan

They had to get up at Crikey o'clock (3:30am) and left the house about 4:30am to be at the airport by 6:30am for a 9:30am flight.

For those who want to GoogleEarth it (I haven't got around to it yet myself), Robbie's host family live in Yamasaki, Miyazaki, Japan. A colleague, John, has a son who worked in Japan for several years and John says his son was in a town just south of where Robbie is going. He said it's a fishing centre and they process and dry a lot of fish and the surrounding area reeks of fish!!!!

There was a little article about the students in this week's Blue Mountains Gazette which I have tried to upload here but will have to send you all via email instead.

Clancy of the Overflow

Listening to ABC radio the other morning I heard Jack Thompson reading Clancy of the Overflow. A beautiful Australian poem read devinely.

The reading is just one track on Jack Thompson's CD, The Bush Poems of A.B. (Banjo) Paterson. Anyone still wondering what to get me for Christmas need wonder no more . . .

Click here for a sample of the CD, courtesy The Sydney Morning Herald.

Now if anyone can find me Burn's poetry read as beautifully I'd be in heaven.

Emotionally wierd

Not feeling my best today - tired, hormonal and on the edge.

Fed up with living like a refugee - the benches were fitted OK on Friday (a day late) but when the electrician came at the crack of nothing yesterday morning he wasn't able to do much because the wall has not been replaced behind where the oven will go and behind the stove. Also, the cupboard for the microwave hasn't been replaced. The kitchen company are apologetic but are waiting on parts, apparently. (More pics will be added to photostream when I can get the uploading thing to work again - more frustration)

Tired - Ishbel had two friends staying yesterday and overnight. My biggest worry during the day was that three would prove to be a crowd and that at some point during the day someone would be on the outer. This didn't eventuate and all three girls had a lovely day. The problem came at bed time. Ishbel now has a bunk in her room so we had two beds but when I brought out one of the boys' blow up camping mattresses none of the three wanted to put up their hands to sleep on it. So I told Ishbel that as the hostess it was her duty. With that she burst out crying, saying she was frightened of sleeping on the floor because of what might be under the bed. I said there were no monsters under the bed; there's no blumming room for them there with all the junk! I pulled the mattress off the bed and put it beside the camping mattress and said there, she'd have company on the floor. On she wailed. I lost it and stomped off to bed myself.

Read myself to sleep. Tossed and turned and was woken about 11:30 by the girls, jumping out of bed in concrete boots (it sounded like). Upstairs to tell them off. Back in bed to listen to Ian snoring.

About midnight a dog started howling. It sounded like it was in pain or something. Anyway, this was the cue for all the dogs in our neighbourhood (and there seems to be a yappy dog in every other back garden in this cul-de-sac alone!) to take up howling too, including Bella in the laundry. It was like the scene in 101 Dalmations when the dogs start barking that the puppies are gone. That went on and off for about 15 minutes then there were sirens going.

Finally the noise stopped outside but Ian snored on and at after 12:30 I could hear the elephants upstairs again and went to tell them off. "What?" was Ian's helpful response. I finally fell asleep again to be rudely woken at nothing o'clock by what sounded like a helicopter outside.

And I've just realised I've got a hair appointment booked for next Saturday when I'm supposed to be at brunch in Leura for my book group.

And it's December tomorrow.

Bah!

My eye exams

Ishbel and I had an appointment on Thursday morning to have our eyes tested. We went in to my work for a while before we went to the optometrists. Here is what she wrote while we were in my office (no changes to spelling or grammar):

Today I am getting my eyes checked. I am at my mums work until nine thirty. I am helping my mum but she hasn't told my to do anything yet. So that is why I am writing this storey. My mum is working at the library. When I got go to get my eyes checked I will not know what to do I will just wait for my name to be called. After I get my eyes checked I will get a sandwich. And then I will go to school.

Ishbel had been complaining of her vision going a bit fuzzy at times. Holly has recently (at 16) been diagnosed with a form of dyslexia. She's always found it difficult to read and thought she was stupid. She's been given a pair of glasses with dark lenses and is reading everything she can get her hands on now. Thought it would be best to check Ishbel out.

She just has a problem with convergence so now has to do exercises to make her eyes converge ie. go cross-eyed. Didn't Karen have the same?

Disaster-ous day

Several weeks ago Blue Mountains RFS brigades were asked for volunteers to assist with a disaster training day. "Might be a bit of a change from cataloguing," I thought, "I'll put my name down." So I did. That was before they notified us of the 4:40am pick up at Valley Heights! Eeeek!

So, on Tuesday morning I got up at 3am and braved the chill and was at the bus stop on the highway at Valley Heights with Robyn, waiting for a bus by 4:40am. It took us down to the Scout Camp at Glenfield where we were directed to a hut where we were given a card which had the details of our persona for the day. I was delighted to find I was 30 years old. My name was Summer and I was going with my friend to private tuition of some sort. Robyn, a grandmother 5 times over, was over the moon to be 28 year old Muriel!

We then went to another hut where, depending on the information on our cards, we were made up by State Emergency Service (SES) volunteers. I was given a large cut on my temple which had bits of shrapnel in it. Robyn had a cut on her back, again with shrapnel. We were also streaked with 'blood' and dusted with 'soot'. The we could go for breakfast. It was a bit surreal sitting having a plateful of egg, beans and toast with a bunch of people with gaping wounds, burns and singed clothing!

While we ate a nurse came around giving us a briefing on how our character would be from the details on their cards - fast breathing, bit dazed, etc.

We were then bussed off to the middle of Holdsworthy Army base. We had a 40 or so minute wait somewhere in the middle of the bush - the first of many during the day - luckily the RFS is well used to "hurry up and wait."

The scenario was a bomb on a train and a bus. There was a blown apart train beside a train station platform with steps leading down to a pedestrian tunnel and a bus, also blown open, which had a pig carcass over the back of one of the seats. We had to find a position (again according to what our cards said) and I took up position in the tunnel. Then a horn went off and we were off!

The man beside me had a piece of piping sticking out of his stomach so I took my cardigan off and wrapped it round the pipe and started shouting for help. And for my friend I was supposed to be with. The walking wounded helped people out while everyone shouted for help. It seemed like a long time before the police arrived but they didn't come in (making sure they didn't get in danger) so we shouted more for them to come in. We had a lot of fun with the pipe - at one point it was spitting rain and the man ("Randy, 26, who was shopping with his girlfriends" - obviously gay) was saying he hoped he didn't drown! We were also popping jelly babies down it.

Eventually (we are guessing it was about 20-30 mins) they finally sent in a sniffer dog before the NSW Fire Brigade (not our volunteer service) came in and stretchered my man off for treatment. As well as the Police and NSW Fire Brigade there were nurses, paramedics and chaplains.

As one of the walking wounded I was given a green 'Walking' tag and corralled into an area and my 'details' taken by a policeman. We had a bit of fun trying to wander off from time to time, only to be turned back to the group. At one stage a girl and I decided we were walking home, we had kids to collect from school. The lovely fireman that caught us let slip that they thought it was a terrorist attack. Terrorists! He then spent a few minutes desperately trying to backtrack on that one!

After another long time (we had no idea of the passage of time because we weren't allowed watches or other jewellry, mobiles or anything else with us) we were bussed back to the Scout camp. Now we had to wait to be interviewed by the police. We were sat in some chairs in rows. The first row were taken in to see the detectives and some people wh0 had been sitting at the back and the sides took up the seats. When they were then taken in next there was a lot of booing and shouting and we quickly established a kind of queue, which was not immediately apparent to the police, and woe-betide anyone who tried to jump the queue!

Summer had seen a criminal looking man in a green shirt with a black backpack so after giving my statement to the detective I was taken to another detective for another interview. I'd not been given any more information than I'd had seen a "criminal looking man in a green shirt with a black backpack " and was unsure how much we were allowed to make up but the detective told me to just go for it so we had a bit of fun. The man next to me was having to sign his name "Kylie" There were heaps of cross-dressers on that train!

The second surreal moment of the day came when the Police decided they didn't need to interview the dead after all!

By the time I'd been interviewed for the second time and had got as much of my 'wound' off as possible, the canteen was closing (Robyn and I'd not wanted to leave the chairs to go and get our lunch because we were really close to the front and didn't want to lose our place) and the bus we'd come down on had left. I ate my lunch in about 4 mouthfuls as I went from canteen to bus queue. It was at least 4:30pm by then.

One of the Blue Mountains boys had been given a huge gash on his (bald) head. He didn't wash it off and was hoping to get home with it I think. Unfortunately all the others taking photos with their mobiles alerted the SES and he was made to wipe it off in the end. Dan might post that photo - he had his mobile and took a photo or two.

It was after 6pm when I arrived home but my day wasn't over, I had a quick shower to wash out the rest of my wound and then headed out for a Tanderra meeting.

Looking for culinary inspiration

Being without the full range of kitchen equipment is really challenging my already culinary challenged menu planning. How apt that today I came across this Random Recipe Generator.

Here's one I might try on the family:

Mangoes Crumble
Serves 3

You will need:
60ml whipped cream
1 mango
120ml tabasco sauce
140ml brandy

Instructions:
pre-heat the oven to 210 C
slice the whipped cream
stir-fry the tabasco sauce
spoon the whipped cream onto a warmed plate
fry the tabasco sauce
sauté the mangoes
flambe the whipped cream
microwave the mangoes
stir-fry the brandy
bake for 30 minutes and serve hot

Yum.

Not only does Barack Obama know how to hold a book the right way up . . .

President-elect Barack Obama has broken with a tradition established over the past eight years through his controversial use of complete sentences, political observers say.

Millions of Americans who watched Mr. Obama's appearance on CBS's 60 Minutes on Sunday witnessed the president-elect's unorthodox verbal tic, which had Mr. Obama employing grammatically correct sentences virtually every time he opened his mouth.

But Mr. Obama's decision to use complete sentences in his public pronouncements carries with it certain risks, since after the last eight years many Americans may find his odd speaking style jarring. According to presidential historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota, some Americans might find it "alienating" to have a president who speaks English as if it were his first language. "Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement," says Mr. Logsdon. "If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist."

The historian said that if Mr. Obama insists on using complete sentences in his speeches, the public may find itself saying, "Okay, subject, predicate, subject predicate -- we get it, stop showing off."

The president-elect's stubborn insistence on using complete sentences has already attracted a rebuke from one of his harshest critics, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska. "Talking with complete sentences there and also too talking in a way that ordinary Americans like Joe the Plumber and Tito the Builder can't really do there, I think needing to do that isn't tapping into what Americans are needing also," she said.

(By Andy Borowitz, BorowitzReport.com)

Robs crazy weather day

Today I played cricket in Blackheath, a little town about 5 minutes up the road from Katoomba. When Dad and I arrived at the ground at about noon the sun was out but it was very windy so we had jumpers on while we waited for the rest of the team to arrive. The game started at about 1 o'clock and after about half an hour it started to rain a little but it was only light even if the wind was making it horizontal. This sprinkling went on and off for about 45 minutes then got a bit heavier so we retreated to the cars while we waited for the bad weather to blow over. But it didn't. After a few minutes small bits of hail started falling then on to full blown snow. This is Australia!!! It isn't supposed to snow in summer!! Anyway the weather did blow over soon so we all went back on to the pitch and played for another 20 mins and during this time the sun re-emmerged and people were taking the jumpers off because they were to warm. Then the bad weather returned. Then went away again. And came back. And went away. The opposition team ended up on 100 runs and we were sent into bat. In the end my team won in with only about 3 balls left to be bowled. I didn't get to bat although I did open the bowling and got 2 wickets for 7 runs off 5 overs.
A wild day.
Rob.

You may have seen this one before . . .


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, AFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.



DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!

Tech Support

The Ernies

One of my favourite awards, the Ernies are awarded for sexist public comments. The annual Ernie Awards have 10 categories and are decided by the level of boos, jeers and stamping of feet at the women's only event held at the New South Wales Parliament.

This year the Golden Ernie was awarded to the Mayor of Mount Isa, Councillor John Moloney for suggesting that ugly women should move to Mount Isa, in NW Queensland where men outnumber women 5:1, to find themselves a husband. "May I suggest if there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask them to proceed to Mount Isa," Cr Molony said. But it was when local women retaliated against the comment that Mr Molony earned his golden Ernie award by replying, "The protesters are blaming me for their looks."



Winners of the Silver Ernies, from whom the Golden Ernie winner is chosen were:

• Western Australia's Treasurer Troy Buswell picked up the Political Ernie for snapping the bra of a female Labor staffer, making sexist remarks to a Liberal MP and famously sniffing the chair of a Liberal staffer.
• The Nine Network's John Westacott won the Media Ernie for his comment that "Sheilas do health and consumer stories - you want your blokes, your main guns, doing the real news stories."
• Professor Mark Wooden from the University of Melbourne won the Industrial Ernie for saying - at a National Press Club panel discussion no less - that "The pay equity gap has got a lot to do with the fact that women are not prepared to work longer hours."
• The hotly contested Elaine Award, "for remarks least helpful to the sisterhood", went to federal MP Sophie Mirabella for her comment during a debate in parliament about taxpayer funded staff at the lodge. Pointing to Deputy PM Julia Gillard, who does not have children, she said "You won't need his (Prime Minister Kevin Rudd's) taxpayer funded nanny, will you?".
• On a positive note, the Good Ernie Award "for boys behaving better" was a dead heat between rugby international Brendan Cannon, and transport company Veolia.
  Cannon said, "I don't want my daughter Phoebe growing up in the country where almost all women will be victims of physical violence or sexual abuse during their lifetimes" and the Veolia transport company was acknowledged for applying to the Anti-discrimination Commission for exemption from the Anti-Discrimination Act, so they could exclusively employ women drivers "because women are better drivers and gentler on the buses."