Convicts, chicks and chocolate - what more could you ask for?

Flickr slideshow for the Book Thieves weekend away

We were reading The Secret River (Mother knows this one well!) for my Springwood book group this month. A while ago we decided that, because the book was based on the Hawkesbury River and the main character, William Thornhill, is based on an ancestor of the author called Solomon Wiseman who settled there in the early 1800s, we'd go to Wiseman's Ferry on the Hawkesbury for a weekend.

Months ago I rang the Wiseman's Ferry hotel to see about room costs and booking. I was told we didn't need to book. Last Wednesday I filled out an online booking thing and, not having had a reply in the stipulated couple of days, rang them on Friday to check. Good job I did. They were booked out. I was told they are always busy on the weekends! The man on the phone didn't hold out much chance of me getting a room in Wiseman's Ferry that weekend - there was a wedding on. Turns out he was right and, many phone calls later, we ended up having to take rooms at a place called St Albans, some way north of Wiseman's Ferry. Catherine gave the woman our sob story though and she gave us a special rate.

Not everyone was able to stay overnight. In the end there were just 5 of us staying overnight and 8 of the full group quota of 11 who were able to go at all. We gathered at Mary's house for 11am on Saturday morning and headed off in two cars. We'd not arranged a rendez-vous at our destination but figured the Wiseman's Ferry hotel, built as a home for Soloman Wiseman, would be the logical place. Luckily the girls in the other car thought so too.

Having 'powedered our noses' we headed back down to the riverside park to have a picnic lunch. It had been cloudy all morning but the sun came out as we set up the table and it was lovely by the river, feeding crackers to the kookaburra. After lunch, with champagne, we went back up the hill to the hotel, everyone grabbed a cuppa and we had our meeting.

Heather still had the last couple of pages to go. They happened to be the pages where William Thornhill is sitting on the verandah of his house looking out at the cliffs opposite. The description of the cliffs, as the rest of the story, is beautiful and Heather read it aloud to us as we gazed on the same view. We then got on with a discussion of the book, all had enjoyed it, and put in our reading suggestions for next year. We don't usually have a meeting in January because folk are away and this year it would be on New Year's Day so we've determined to go on an excursion to the movies - regardless of what film is on!

The meeting over, we said goodbye to the day trippers and Catherine, Trish, Heather, Mary and I piled into Mary's car and headed off for St Albans via the ferry. En route we stopped at a tiny little cemetary. They seemed to be a healthy lot; even in the mid to late 1800s the people were living into their 80s, 90s and even one to 100.

Finally we arrived at the Settlers Inn. We'd booked two rooms with the hotel needing to put an extra bed in one of the rooms. This seemed to be a bit of a challenge for the staff but finally we were shown to a couple of cabins out the back of the lovely old 1830s Inn. Drawing our names out of a hat, we decided on who was sleeping where and I ended up in Cabin 6 with Heather.

We had a drink in our room before going across to the Inn for dinner. The menu didn't look real great initially, there were no vegetarian or even chicken dishes on the menu and I thought I was stumped but when I asked about getting veggie something I was offered goats cheese tart which turned out to be very very tasty.

Waiting for our meal we were joined by two french men, Jean-Paul and Christophe, who ended up joining us for our meal. Everyone we met asked what we were doing there and we'd tell them about reading The Secret River. One of Jean-Paul's children had had to read it for school so he knew about it. Later we were joined by an aboriginal man, Colin, who had also read it. We also met Henry who is Deputy Captain in the RFS up there.

Back in our room we had more wine and chocolte, chatted and went to bed. Mary and Catherine were up early and out for walks early the next morning but Heather and I must've slept until 8:30 or so and were last ones up.

We had a breakfast of leftover picnic bread, salad and cheese then went for a wee walk across the river from the Inn. Saw a lovely cottage, Price Wilson Cottage, which looked idyllic. We ended up stopping in Windsor for fish and chips (the fish shop there is famous) and in an absolute downpour checked out the local markets. Then we headed south and back home.

TGIF - Questions you just can't answer

• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?


• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?


• Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?


• Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?


• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?


• Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?


• What is the speed of darkness?


• Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?


• Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?


• If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?


• Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?


• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


• Did you ever stop and wonder...... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'


• Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'


• Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


• Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?


• Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?


• Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?


• Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !


• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?


• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?


• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


• Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on.......

• Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?


• Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


• Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?


• Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
  

Mo on the go

Thought I'd show you the difference a week makes!

He's pretty pleased with himself. It grosses me out - should've kept my mouth shut!

Not a lot of snogging going on around here; it's waaaaay too prickly. And he's starting to look like Captain Mainwaring!!!

Mo' mo stuff

To sponsor Ian's Mo, you can either:
* Click this link http://au.movember.com/mospace/254992/ and donate online using your credit card or PayPal account
* Write a cheque payable to 'Movember Foundation', referencing my Registration Number 254992 and mailing it to: Movember Foundation, PO Box 292, Prahran, VIC, 3181
Remember, all donations over $2 are tax deductible.

Melbourne Cup

It's the Melbourne Cup day today. It's about 7 minutes to 3 so the race will be starting soon. People flapping about here trying to get the TV to work - it's usually used to display what the security camera in the Council office is recording. We might have to race down to Retravision if it doesn't work!!

I've got $6 riding on 3 horses but I don't know who they are at the moment.

Going to get hairy around here!

Ian is taking part in Movember this year.

Movember is an annual, month-long celebration of the moustache, highlighting men’s health issues, specifically prostate cancer and depression in men.

Mo Bros, supported by their Mo Sistas, start Movember (November 1st) clean shaven and then have the remainder of the month to grow and groom their moustache.

The idea for Movember came about in 2003 when a few mates were having a beer in a small bar in Fitzroy, Melbourne. Inspired by the women’s health movement, it was recognized that men were lacking a way to engage and actively involve themselves in their own health. During a conversation about fashion and past trends, the idea came up to bring the moustache back for one month, and in doing so, have some fun, raise a small amount of money and hopefully encourage men to talk about their health with each other.

As his Mo Sista, I am not going to shave my legs all month.

TGIF - Cat found

This poster was put up by Japanese students and photographed in Brunswick, Melbourne :

Well done that girl!

We had Josie at the vet last night for her 1 year old injections (Xavier had his?)

We were commended on what a lovely-natured, well-behaved dog we had and on the good condition she is in (not too fat, beautiful white teeth).

She was a vet we hadn't seen before. I didn't tell her the pearly white teeth were probably because of the roughage in Josie's diet - couches, hot water bottles, wellies, garden hoses, mobile phones . . .

Laughing at work

Gillian had me in hysterics yesterday (I hope this reads as funny as it was at the time).

Gillian took a book off the cataloguing shelf called Dear Editor . . . The collected letters of Oscar Brittle. And she read from the flyleaf : "To some newspaper and magazine editors, who don't have time for his 'exploits', he is 'opinionated' and 'divisive', while others 'don't know what to make of him'. to some readers he is 'living in the past'; an 'arrogant toff' who needs 'a drink poured over his head'. To his growing legion of fans - those who understand him - he is 'commendable' and 'heroic'; a man of ideas, of pedigree, of unimpeachable integrity, and, quite simply, the most significant and powerful contibutor to public debate in contemporary Australia."

Then Gillian read a few excerpts :

"There are so many things that make me cranky, I don't even know where to start."

Oscar Brittle, Killara, NSW in The Australian Monday February 27, 2006

"Dear Editor,

After six years of painstaking research, I am able to conclude that all of the world's conspiracy theories are the work of one man. That man is Derek Ronald Jenkins of 12 Millwood Lane, Cambridge, United Kingdom. (Block out the address if you need to.)

Facts simply do not lie.

Jenkins has been placed at the scene of some of the most newsworthy events of the last fifty years - the My Lai Massacre, the murder of Lord Mountbatten and the Oklahoma bombings. He has well-established links to the CIA, the KGB, the BBC and the Black Hand. He spends up to 80 hours per week on the internet and last year received England's fourth highest annual private telephone bill. His blinds are usually drawn. He has got to be up to something."

Rejected by the Hobart Mercury

and

"Dear Editor,

I have recently been self-diagnosed with prostrate cancer - thanks to the electric internet and some gentle prodding. However, I still have a few questions. How can I skip the middleman and convince a surgeon to go ahead and operate? Or is it possible to 'self-medicate' in these situations and remove the wretched gland myself? I'm very tempted by the latter, I must admit."

Rejected by the New Idea magazine

This all had me nearly hysterical and certainly in tears with laughter. My hysteria only increased when the next book Gillian pulled off the shelf was called An exact replica of a figment of my imagination.

One for the hypercondriacs

The Google Flu Trends website enables you to track the flu world-wide.

Actually, not world-wide. I was going to explain how using the drop down list at the left of the full screen lets you narrow down to your particular area - for me Australia > NSW - and in giving it a go, found that the UK isn't white because it's virtually flu free; it's because there's no data from there. Hmmmm.

Ah well, if you want to see what risk Karen and I are facing . . . must remember and book us all in for the free H1N1 jabs clinic. Although, listening to the radio this morning, it might be better to wait a few weeks to see if Ishbel will be able to get it too - at the moment it's for the over 10s as they haven't worked out how many doses to give the children but some guy on the radio said this morning that that should be worked out in a few weeks.